


the oyster's autobiography

by crookedspoon



Series: Donation Fics [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Titans (Comics)
Genre: Anal Sex, Banter, Bisexuality, Confessions, F/F, F/M, First Time Bottoming, Group Sex, Kissing, M/M, Mild Dysphoria, Multi, So much kissing, Telepathic Bond, Trans Female Character, Trans Jason Todd, Transitioning, muffing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:13:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23483650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: When Roy invited her to a "cozy get-together," Jay should have guessed what that would be about. But Dick would be there, that's all her curiosity needed to know.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Various, Jason Todd/Donna Troy, Koriand'r/Jason Todd, Roy Harper/Jason Todd
Series: Donation Fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598773
Comments: 16
Kudos: 79





	the oyster's autobiography

**Author's Note:**

  * For [XYDamianKane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/XYDamianKane/gifts).



> Many thanks to Danny for donating to the Australian bushfire relief efforts in exchange for this and for being endlessly patient as I wrangled my brain and my anxiety to write this!
> 
> For this fic I threw together a bunch of characters from the original and the new Teen Titans, Young Justice, and Titans Rebirth.
> 
> Many, many thanks also to Gement for the awesome sensitivity beta!

_Come with us,_ he said. _It's just going to be a cozy get-together,_ he said. _You'll see it won't be that bad,_ he said.

He didn't consider that maybe, just _maybe,_ Jay didn't want to see. That maybe Jay would be happier not knowing what went on here behind closed doors. Or exactly _how_ cozy it could get.

There's a certain level of cozy that Jay can tolerate (think: a bar setting where everyone is anonymous and pleasantly buzzed), and this not only goes way beyond it, this catapults her from _vaguely annoyed_ straight into _definitely on edge._

The Titans have never made a secret out of the bonds they share, the bonds that enable them to work together like a well-oiled machine. And if you know anything about people, you'll be able to tell that what you observe in the field is nothing more than an aspect of their relationship, sharpened in some places and muted in others.

You might see a hand lingering too long on someone's shoulder for comfort and reassurance, but you would not see the same hand curving around someone's inner thigh in a way that's both casual and unhurried. As she's seeing now. It's a sexually charged gesture, that much is hard to miss, but it seems unconscious, like it's not meant to convey intent. Like it's not meant to convey anything.

Like it's just the way they touch each other when there's nothing more pressing on their minds.

Jay knows some things about people. She knows that when they're _this_ into each other, there's no place for her here. That it was a mistake to come along. Curse her and her stupid curiousity. Of course she's had her suspicions about where this 'cozy get-together' was heading. Just like everyone else has their suspicions about why the Titans are such a tight-knit group, but never voices them.

So it's anyone's guess why she'd willingly expose herself to a situation like this. A situation she's clearly not ready for. Where bodies brush up against each other and personal boundaries are no more.

Maybe she wanted to prove herself that she is, in fact, ready. That it's no big deal. That she can leave her issues behind for one night and just be _fun_ to be around for an hour or two.

Yeah, right.

She should have just told Roy to stop nagging her. 

She might have. If it weren't for Dick.

 ~~For the chance of getting to watch him unguarded among his friends.~~ For the chance of proving that she's not isolating. That transitioning was right for her. That he and the rest of the Bats needn't worry, because she's the same asshole she's always been. Just with a slightly different name (for now) and different pronouns.

Surely that's not too much to get used to. Not more than her dying and coming back to life, anyway.

Because transitioning was right for her. _Is_ right.

It's just not all sunshine and rainbows. Transitioning is not a panacea for all the shit that's wrong with her. 

She's still herself. She's still a mess. Still trying to figure shit out.

Progress: ongoing.

So as she watches the others fall into a routine of shifting against each other and letting their fingers play with clothes or hair, it dawns on her what Roy asked her to join. Her skin feels cold even as her blood is slowly simmering. (Wally is leaning over Dick, his nose brushing Dick's cheek, as their lips draw closer... Jay is transfixed.)

There's a sudden warm pressure on her right knee.

"I need a smoke," she says, out of habit, and stands abruptly.

"You don't have to do that," Roy says.

"Do what?"

"Lie to excuse yourself. You quit smoking a while ago."

 _Busted._ She quit smoking before she started hormone treatment and hasn't gone back since. Which is not to say that she doesn't still crave a smoke sometimes. Like, right now.

Roy gets up, too. "If I made you uncomfortable, I'd rather you tell it to me straight."

"It's not you—" she swallows a 'just' before the 'you.' No need to be rude to Roy when she doesn't have to be. "It's everything. I mean, I'm not— I can't— I don't think— Jesus, _fuck._ "

Apparently being a nervous wreck is affecting her speech. Figures.

Jay pushes Roy away and hurries toward the bathroom. She would have preferred the balcony for a breath of fresh air, but that would have meant rushing past the others and she'd rather not draw _everyone's_ attention. 

She's a drama queen, yes, always has been, but it's different now. Like it shines on her in a more negative light. Like she's a representative for the whole trans community and everything she does reflects on every other trans person out there. It's absurd, but it's there, that feeling of responsibility.

As she bursts through the door, not bothering to knock, her eyes fall on the two occupants of the room: Donna has backed Kori into the marble countertop and is worshiping her every curve with hands increasingly eager to undress. Kori's hair is glowing softly and her green eyes shift toward Jay, pinning her in place, but Jay's presence is not enough to stop her from continuing to kiss Donna or comb her fingers through her black tresses.

(If Jay's honest, she's a tad jealous of Donna's long, straight hair. Well, if she's _really_ honest, it's not the only thing she's jealous of but it's trivial enough to feel safe. Her own hair is curly like a pig's tail and is taking forever to grow out.)

It's not before Donna, too, notices the source of Kori's distraction that they break apart.

"Shit, sorry. Didn't mean to intrude," Jay grits out, and turns stiffly on her heels.

Only to bump straight into Roy's chest.

"You're not intruding," he says with a soft grin.

"You can't speak for them," Jay grumbles and ducks her head so she wouldn't have to look at him.

"He speaks the truth, for once," Donna says, earning herself a "Hey now" from Roy that she blithely ignores. "You're welcome here, sister."

 _Sister._ The word crashes through her like a flash of lightning and pushes color to her cheeks.

"See?" Roy says and tilts her chin up. "You're free to stay and participate. We'd love to have you."

"I'm sure," Jay snorts. Hiding behind banter is good, it's easy. "You've been wanting to get into my pants ever since we met."

Which is kind of flattering in its own right, because back when they first met she'd been masquerading as a prickly guy who stayed as far away from anything girly for reasons he wasn't entirely clear on himself.

"Can you blame me? You're hot."

Then again, Roy is down to screw pretty much anything with a heartbeat, as she's learned since.

"A sweet-talker, isn't he?" Donna walks around them to hook her arm over Roy's neck and rest her head on his shoulder. Her eyes are twinkling at Jay.

"He's not wrong," Kori says as she glides up next to them, too.

"Again, for _once."_

"I feel like you ladies are ganging up on me. I say that's not fair."

"You didn't complain last time we 'ganged up' on you, as I recall," Donna teases.

"There was less badmouthing of me involved. In fact, you were using your—"

Donna cuts him off with a kiss. "I know. I was there."

Jay is struck with awe by their tender playfulness – but also struck again with the feeling of not belonging. She's not a part of their in-group and could never give them even a fraction of what they're giving each other.

"You seem in distress," Kori says and reaches out to brush Jay's hair out of her face. "Are we making you feel unwelcome?"

Jay starts, but lets the gesture happen. Kori's fingers are warm, even against Jay's glowing face, as they trace the shell of her ear and cup her cheek. What makes this whole thing even hotter is that Jay has to flick her eyes _upward_ if she wants to look at Kori's. Jay is tall for a woman, but Kori is even taller, which is somehow very reassuring. No one would look at her and question her gender, despite her height, and Jay can only hope that it might one day be the same for her, too.

"It's not that," she says. "Or maybe it is. I don't know. I'm honestly a little confused right now."

"Would this help?"

Kori's thumb caresses Jay's cheekbone as she leans down. For a second, Jay thought Kori might whisper something more to her privately, but then their lips touch and— _oh._

Kori is kissing her. This has got to be her first kiss since... probably since Talia.

It's nothing more than a soft press of lips, tentative and sweet, and Kori brings space between them again to see if Jay wants more or not. 

She does.

Even though she feels as clumsy as she did back then with Talia, and she doesn't have the excuse of months of catatonia this time. Although, in a way, she is relearning her body _yet again_ and it makes her wonder if it will ever stop. If there will ever come a time when she feels like she has _arrived._

Whatever. Now's not the time to be worrying about any of that. Now's the time to be worrying about whether Kori is going to grow bored with her or not. Jay can't have that. She pushes her insecurities aside for a second and slips her hands around Kori's waist, up her back, into her hair. It's warm to the touch, just like the rest of her.

Jay moans into the kiss as she opens up for Kori, and Kori... all Kori does is draw her closer by the small of her back and tilt her head just so, but it's enough for Jay to nearly swoon. There are few people strong enough to lift her even if they put their mind to it and here Kori is just casually rearranging her like Jay was made of cloth. It does things to her. The mere _idea_ of being manhandled by Kori is making her knees weak.

And Kori seems to sense it, too.

One moment Jay is still safely on her feet, the next Kori has helped onto the counter as if Jay didn't weigh a thing. And not a moment too soon, either, because the shiver of arousal that's running through her is rendering her legs inert. She can barely wrap them around Kori's hips.

"Wow," Roy blurts, and with a start, Jay snaps back to the present. She could have cursed. If her tongue had been at all functional. "Um, don't mind me. _Do_ go on."

Donna elbows him. "That's not very encouraging."

"Jay, help me out here – what is it if _not_ encouraging?"

"Voyeuristic," Donna concludes before Jay even has the chance to parse any of that. She's still trying to catch her breath from that kiss.

Fuck, there's nothing that Jay wants more right now than to go on, but to be directed to do so is rather awkward. She just stares down at Kori, her hands still buried in her locks, as if hoping for any sort of instruction. 

Even that much need for guidance irritates her. She hates not being in control of a situation, and right now it's like she's just being swept along, unable to find her own footing at all. 

She might have felt more confident if there had been fewer eyes around – namely, just Kori's – but like this, among friends who've had each other's backs before Jay had even become a vigilante, she feels like an outsider. Scrutinized and found lacking.

She would have loved to stay as lost in Kori's presence as Kori had been in Donna's just moments before. But this is all new to her. She doesn't share this special bond of trust that the Titans have for each other. She'd trust Kori and Roy with her life, and Donna, too, but she's never been sexual with any of them. The spark was there (oh, boy, was it ever), but she'd kept herself locked away from it, too confused about her body's needs to face sharing it with anyone.

Maybe having such a bond with them might have made things easier now. Or it might not.

Jay is only slowly coming into her own. It makes things... complicated.

Lost in thought, Jay watches Roy and Donna continue their exchange, without really hearing what they're saying. Jay is torn between her own hesitation and the feeling of Kori's strong hands holding her in place, the feeling of her hair tickling her skin, of her warm lips trailing up her neck.

It's that last that does it for Jay.

Her fingers wind tighter around Kori's glowing hair and her thighs flex around Kori's hips. It's an effort to keep her body still when Kori nips at the skin below her ear. 

Fuck, she's hot. She feels like she could melt right out of her clothes.

A touch at her wrist startles her.

Donna is at her side, lips curved into a gentle smile as her knuckles brush over Jay's arm. Jay wants to lean into the caress, and she does – but the moment Donna's knuckles crest her jaw, it's like everything skids to a halt. She's acutely aware of the scrape of her skin, the close shave not close-shaven enough anymore. She twitches her head away from Donna's fingers.

Undeterred, Donna touches her chin, a mere suggestion to look at her, but the suggestion is all Jay needs to let her gaze flicker toward Donna's eyes again.

Donna tucks a strand of her long, silky hair behind her ear as she leans forward and presses her lips to Jay's. Jay nearly swallows her breath. 

First Kori, now Donna.

She becomes even more acutely aware of Kori's hands at her thighs and her sides, and her lips dipping toward the slope of her shoulder, and all that keeps Jay lulled in a bubble of low-pulsing desire. All that makes her _want._

Just like before, Jay lets herself be swept away by the pleasure of kissing another person, a person she trusts. Donna is sure and strong and everything Jay wants to be. (Like Dick's best friend and closest confidante, her mind supplies.) The soft caresses of her tongue make Jay forget where she is and who she's with.

When Donna draws back it's with an invitation for Jay to follow, not just with her lips to close the gap between them, but with her whole body, to relocate somewhere more comfortable. Donna is giving her the opportunity to speak, to voice her objection or anything else she might want to get rid of.

"Good?" she asks, when the silence between them stretches on too long.

Even if Jay had anything to say right now, she'd be too tongue-tied to say it, so she just nods. Her gaze drifts down to Kori, then up, as Kori straightens. This woman, with her pupil-less eyes and her flaming hair, who can fly and shoot starbolts out of her hands, should be imposing – and she _is_ – but her touch is fond, her expression welcoming, and if there had ever been any doubt about Jay joining them, there is none anymore.

It's like her whole body is unclenching like a fist that's no longer needed. She's been struggling to accept that she doesn't _have_ to be so strong here, doesn't _have_ to keep her walls high. It's a strange realization, one that makes her feel open and bewildered, yet hopeful at the same time.

Jay slips off the marble counter. She runs her damp palm over her hair and shoves out a breath. She's so aroused it's difficult to stand upright. She feels... good. In a way she hasn't felt in a long time.

"Let's find someplace we can sit," Donna suggests. Jay just nods again.

Flanked by Donna and Kori, she is ushered toward the door, where Roy is still waiting and observing them.

"Do I get a kiss as well?" he asks, his grin even more flirtatious than usual.

"Maybe later," Jay says and pats his cheek. It's easier to find her voice again when it's to rib someone than it is to articulate her own needs.

"What do they have that I don't? I know you're not a lesbian."

"As if every straight woman were into you," Donna says and pokes Roy's other cheek.

"You're determined to stab me in the back today, aren't you?"

"Maybe they're just not as desperate as you are." Jay shrugs. "Ever thought of that?"

Roy is right though, she's not a lesbian. Probably never has been. It's strange how her attraction to women feels as natural now as it ever has, but her attraction to men no longer feels so damning anymore. Like she can finally allow herself to swing that way, too.

In the common area, things have not slowed down since they've been gone. 

It's a little surreal to walk in on a roomful of people who are all at varying stages of getting it on with each other. Wally is kissing Dick's neck from behind, his hands caressing him and sliding down the front of his open pants, while Dick is making out with Garth and helping him out of his Atlantean uniform. On the couch next to them Hank and Dawn are already rocking against each other conspicuously, and on an armchair in the corner, Victor is already sucking Natasha's nipples into his mouth.

Jay nearly stumbles over her own feet when Dick's fingers slip between Garth's legs and... there's nothing there. For a second, she wonders if he's like her, but then a slit opens at the juncture of his thighs and a fully engorged cock _rolls_ out of it. Unlike Jay, Dick does not miss a beat. He rubs his palm along the underside of it in a way that speaks of familiarity and long years of figuring out what the other likes.

Jealousy and want once again rumble beneath her skin and threaten to destroy the pleasant, horny mood she was in until just now. It's not her place to want things, not like that, and she ought to just let it go.

And yet, she can't take her eyes off of them. She mentally berates herself for staring, because that's fucking rude, and to top it all, Dick's gaze flickers over to her and he fucking _catches_ her staring. Her already heated cheeks flare hotter.

"Do you want to watch?" Roy murmurs into her ear. "Dick loves being watched."

Jay turns to him. "Why do you think that's what I—" 

"No reason," he shushes her. "Just that everyone does."

"Yeah, well, _I_ don't want that," she huffs, "so can we... go somewhere else?"

She wants to forget that Dick is here, that he knows _she's_ here, that he saw her. He makes her feel self-conscious in the worst way and she can't have that right now. She wants what Roy promised her: a cozy get-together, a continuation of where they've been headed before.

Roy cups her face and pulls her toward him, forcing her attention away from Dick. His lips are firm but gentle on hers, as if he were trying to tell her not to be so hard on herself. That's good. That's what she needs right now.

"Whatever you like," he says softly.

She'd like not to feel Dick's eyes on her anymore, and she's grateful to Roy and Kori and Donna as they tug her along. Her own eyes stay glued on Dick until they pass through a doorway and she can no longer see him. A shiver rains down her spine as though she stepped through an unseen portal.

And maybe she did.

The room they're in is easily as long as the dining hall in Wayne Manor and it's outfitted with a bed so big an entire football team could sleep on it with room to spare. In its center, M'gann is making love with Connor. Her green skin somehow makes her seem less naked than she is.

Jay stops in her tracks. She hadn't been aware of their presence until she crossed the threshold, and now she wonders whether M'gann is cloaking the room telepathically.

This is awkward. It's one thing for the others to walk in on them – _they_ know each other – but Jay has barely exchanged two words with them.

It doesn't seem to bother them. In fact, M'gann smiles at Jay as Connor breaks the kiss. They both look at her. M'gann pushes herself up on her elbows, her auburn hair all the brighter falling over her green shoulder, and she pats the space on the mattress next to her. All while fixing Jay with her gaze. 

Jay swallows. Goodness gracious, who turned up the fucking heating, she wonders. The sudden encouraging presence of hands on her back doesn't exactly make it better. Roy is the first to slide onto the bed next to M'gann. Her fingers are like bright caterpillars in the thicket of Roy's hair as she kisses him. Connor looks at them both hungrily and Roy spares him a kiss as well, once M'gann lets go of him.

Donna and Kori guide Jay forward as though she were an offering before a goddess. Jay certainly feels like a virgin right now. There's so much raw sexual energy in the room, she feels somehow diminished by it. Like she's unable to reach the lofty heights of the standards they're used to, whether it be beauty, grace, or levity. Like her self-consciousness is a bother to them. Like they're going to get annoyed with her any second for being so uptight and kick her out because she is, after all, not one of them. It sets her on edge.

It's one thing to fool around with people she can trust when they're alone, and quite another to be doing it when there are others around she only knows in passing.

Connor grunts as he pulls out of M'gann and sits back on his heels. His cock is thick, with bulging veins, and glistening with M'gann's essence. Their mingled scent it so thick in the air Jay can almost taste it in the back of her mouth.

Roy all but crawls on top of Connor – or he would have, if Conner hadn't lifted him into his lap like he weighed no more than a child. Something must be _seriously_ wrong with the thermostat for it to be malfunctioning this badly, because how else is Jay so hot right now?

M'gann raises herself to her knees to greet Donna for a kiss. It's just as heartfelt and brief as the one she shared with Roy, like the welcoming embrace of an old friend who's been waiting for you, and who's as excited as you are to move things to the next phase of your meetup.

Kori's fingers are interlaced with Jay's and she tows her along even as Jay feels moored to the ground. There is no more doubt as to where this was heading. It's like she's queueing at a kiss booth, only she doesn't know what the price is. Ridicule and embarrassment, most likely. The audacity of her to think that maybe she might find a place among them.

As Kori bends down toward M'gann, a stiff breeze makes their clothes flutter around them. 

It's Wally, minus his shirt, who's zooming around Jay to steal a kiss before Kori can get hers, flits from person to person to distribute even more – he even stops before Jay and looks up at her with hooded, green eyes, saying, "Sorry for cutting in," before pecking her cheek and rushing on.

Jay's breath catches for a second, but her confusion doesn't last much longer. Her ears prick up. The sound of laughter drifts through the closed door at the other end of the room before it bursts open and Garth enters. He's carrying Dick in his arms, also minus his shirt.

So much for avoiding him.

Well, at least she's not alone here. There are plenty of people she can hide behind if need be. 

But why should she hide? Roy invited her, Kori and Donna have both shown her they want her here, and now it seems like she's about to be welcomed by M'gann as well. She's not going to let Dick's presence sour that for her just because it might be... weird.

Maybe this should be weird, but strangely, it's not. She may be an outsider to them, but she's not the odd one out. They're all odd here. Aliens and cyborgs and Superman clones. People who can breathe in water, Amazons, and people who move faster than the speed of light. For the first time in a long while, Jay is staggered by how _ordinary_ she feels, how _not_ aberrant, like here, she doesn't stand out at all.

It's a relief, a breather, and the knowledge settles so snugly in her skin that she no longer dreads the invitation to draw closer to M'gann. There will be no ridicule and embarrassment. She's allowed to want things here, and be wanted in return.

"Welcome, sister," M'gann says as she cups Jay's face and kisses her forehead. "I've heard a lot about you. I'll be happy to get to know you more."

Jay wants to answer in kind but she's distracted by the feeling of light on her brow, as though M'gann had opened a window there that is shining onto her soul. Jay blinks. She is mesmerized by the rusty color of M'gann's eyes, the same as her hair, and the deep green color of her lips that are moving inexorably toward Jay's.

The moment their lips touch, it's like the limits of her mind are stripped away. A whole world – no, a whole _galaxy_ – of thought and emotion opens itself up to her.

 _Give it some time,_ a voice says in her head. _It can be overwhelming at first._

M'gann. _Is it always like this for you?_ Jay wonders, frowning. She probably doesn't have to frown to get her thoughts across, but it helps her concentrate.

M'gann smiles and shakes her head. _There is more. For us Martians, at least. We – that is, the Titans and I – we usually only communicate via thought. This, this is special. Too distracting for a mission but exactly right for moments like this when we, ah, want to strengthen our bonds._

 _There you are,_ Roy thinks at her as he slides from Connor's lap. 

M'gann touches Jay's cheek one last time before turning to the newcomers. Dick is propped up on his elbows and his distracted gaze flicks over to M'gann the moment he feels Jay's eyes on him. He rises onto his knees to meet M'gann eagerly, as though he needed to steal Jay's kiss from her lips before anyone else could.

Jay snorts. What a silly thought. As if Dick would care about that. About her.

Her breath catches as a sudden increased awareness of Dick springs up in her mind. It's a tiny thing among the strong currents of emotion that flow around her, but she definitely notices it. And she definitely knows that it's Dick.

 _You all right?_ Roy thinks and runs his fingers over hers, asking to hold her hand.

 _Do you always do this?_ she asks, eyes wide.

_You like it?_

_It's positively mind-blowing._

It's like there's a mental thread running through them, connecting her to each of the others. If she could focus, she's sure she could single each of them out, but proximity seems to be an overriding factor. Roy's attraction rushes through her like a tidal wave and wherever she turns, there's so much love and lust for each other, she can't help but be affected.

 _Do I_ now _get a kiss?_ Roy asks with that wide, teasing grin of his.

 _Fucking fine,_ Jay thinks and drags him close.

In truth, she could have no more denied him this than she could have stopped breathing for good. There's no _reason_ to withhold anything, so she doesn't. She kisses Roy with the same open enthusiasm that Kori displayed earlier, the same fiery passion that Donna showed her. Roy responds with equal fervor. 

His hands skim over her sides and her back. Just like she senses his excitement, he seems to sense her hesitation whenever his hands drift too close to her breasts. She's used to feeling judged, to feeling weighed and measured and compared to a blueprint of what she ought to look like before she's allowed to claim certain words for herself. But there's none of that here. There's only acceptance. 

_It used to be the same for me, trust me,_ she hears his voice in her head. _I used to be just as scared and overwhelmed._

 _I'm not scared._ She narrows her eyes at him.

_Of course not. I'm just sayin'. It's a lot all at once. Takes some getting used to. But it's worth it._

_Show me,_ she thinks and pushes him onto the bed before she straddles his thighs.

His light skin with his even lighter scars criss-crossing it looks milky pale against the midnight black of her jeans. Only Wally has fairer skin than Roy does, which is maybe less noticeable because he's got freckles to make up for it and red splotches covering his chest and cheeks because he's always excited, always exerting himself, and his boiling blood shines through his skin.

She had Roy nearly bleed out in her arms, with his usually bitten red lips so bloodless they were nearly white and indistinguishable from the rest of his face.

 _None of that,_ he thinks and flips them over. _Leave that in the field where it belongs._

He kisses her neck, her collar bone, hands sliding to her thighs, and fuck, she's so hot, her clothes are sticking to her skin. She really needs to lose some of them. If only she'd known where this was headed, she might not have worn combat boots. Or maybe she would have anyway, just to remind herself what a huge bother it would be.

But it seems to be no bother for Roy, who is already slipping to the floor, kissing her navel and the jut of her hips.

Without Roy to occupy her mind, there's little to shield her from the others' awareness. To her left, Donna is gazing at her with a hunger that would have made her blush if her cheeks weren't already blazing. Her glossy hair is combed over one shoulder, the straps of her top looping around her elbows, and Jay can feel the pleasure sparking through Donna as Kori nips at her neck and rolls her tits in her strong hands. They're round and perfect, and Jay is filled with an overwhelming urge to touch them and to take them in her mouth.

Donna smiles, reaches behind her to kiss Kori and mouth something to her, before she leans forward, moving closer to Jay. Another rush of heat flows to her cheeks as she realizes that Donna can probably read her desires a lot better than Jay can read hers.

Balancing above Jay, Donna is luminous, ringed in light, and her touch sparks little dancing flames across Jay's skin as her fingers travel from Jay's neck to the back of her hand. Her palm is warm against it, soothing the slight tremor as she guides it to her breast.

Jay inhales sharply as skin touches skin because Donna's breast feels heavier than it looks and it's so soft. Jay can hardly get enough of the sensation. Neither, it seems, can Donna. She exhales a moan and squeezes Jay's hand with her own, showing her how she wants to be touched, and Jay follows her desire. She surges upward and, keeping Donna's gaze locked with her own, sucks her other nipple into her mouth. Donna's breath hitches and her hips roll back against Kori, who is working Donna's pants off.

A tug at her feet reminds her of the service Roy has been doing, namely paving the way for her to be able to peel her own jeans off. Which is long overdue. She's been sweating through them since the first inkling of sexual tension. It's only gone downhill from there.

Too bad she has to bear her damp clothing for a little longer because she doesn't want to let go of Donna yet. Pleasure curls through them both, amplifying each other's desire, and it's the most amazing thing she's ever experienced. Too-tight pants are nothing but a minor inconvenience compared to that.

Luckily, Roy can read her mind and is only too happy to help out. Jay breathes a sigh of relief against Donna's gorgeous tits as Roy pops the button of her jeans.

 _So eager to get in my pants,_ she thinks at Roy. 

_Like you haven't been waiting for it._

Jay is beginning to like this telepathic communication. It enables her to keep making comments even when her mouth is otherwise occupied.

She lifts her hips to assist Roy but a sharp gasp from Donna stills her completely. Donna tries to brace herself on Jay, only to pin her to the mattress as they both lose their balance. Jay rolls onto her back as Donna drops forward onto her elbows. She wouldn't terribly mind Donna riding her face right now, but Donna is too busy getting off in a different way. On trembling knees, her hips lift higher, and Jay can almost feel Kori's tongue against _herself._

It doesn't take long until Donna falls onto her side and twists onto her back, just to completely surrender to Kori. She doesn't even bother with her pants, just folds her knees against her chest and lets Kori lap at her with long strokes of her tongue that become shorter and more to the point with each of Donna's desperate moans. She sucks her folds into her mouth and sinks her middle finger between them.

Jay is struck with how she's never seen anything more beautiful and sensuous. Her own clit is throbbing with every flick of Kori's clever tongue and Kori's knowing gaze shifts to her, the way it did earlier tonight, when she walked in on them in the bathroom, what feels like decades ago now. 

Roy is equally as lost in the show and only remembers he was about to help Jay out of her jeans when her hips twitch so hard she almost knees him in the face.

 _Sorry!_ she thinks. _I'm good, keep going._

The sudden, involuntary movement breaks Kori out of her single-minded focus on Donna. She places a hand on Jay's left knee as if she intended to melt her muscles with the heat of her touch alone.

 _Are you sure?_ she asks Jay with a forbidding look at Roy, who raises his hands to profess his innocence.

_I'm sure. I want this. Don't worry about me._

_You can't be serious._ Donna's thoughts are urgent and although her exasperation has Kori as it's sole target, Jay feels sorry for interrupting them so rudely.

The hunger Kori exudes is vast and overwhelming and its sheer magnitude quiets Jay's insignificant worries. 

_Do you really want to come already?_ she asks Donna. _The night is young._

 _Yes!_ Donna whines.

_I'm sure someone else would more than love to help you out._

Roy looks as eager as Jay feels. Her desire to have Donna riding her face has not diminished in the least; it has only grown. Somewhat hesitantly, she rolls onto her side and reaches out to touch Donna. First her hips, tracing her way to her pubic bone, then her mound, until finally her fingers part Donna's lips and slide through her slick folds. 

Donna's thighs clench around Jay's fingers, and she clutches Jay's arm to keep it still, angling her wrist just so as she rubs herself against it, using Jay to achieve the quickest relief she can find. Donna's hips quake as she comes, her whole body going taut for one sweet instance before she relaxes with a puff of breath.

She's still rocking against Jay's fingers even after that, but it's unhurried now, just as the leisurely kisses she shares with Jay.

As though from the corner of her mind, Jay is aware of someone's attention on them and when she cranes her neck toward the sensation, she notices Dick watching them. His gaze is unusually dark and he doesn't appear as present and sharp as she's used to seeing him, but when he trains his focus on something, he doesn't miss much.

Not that his distraction is any surprise. He is completely naked and Garth is sliding three fingers in and out of him easily. Jay feels hot.

A surge of fondness and desire flows from his corner to theirs, but as soon as it hits, she notices Donna smiling back at him.

After one last toe-curling kiss, Donna rolls out of her embrace, strips completely naked, and makes her way over to where Garth is fingering Dick. Jay feels left behind but she's not going to trail Donna like a lost puppy. She has slightly more dignity than that. Or so she tells herself.

As Donna distracts Garth with her mouth, Wally seizes the opportunity to rub his cock over Dick's lips until he parts them for him. Tilting his head some more, he takes the full length of Wally's cock into his throat. Jay can see it bulging from here. Her clit pulses with each of Wally's gentle thrusts and fuck, she's so wet her panties are glistening with it.

Only when Donna straddles Dick's hips and guides his erection to her core does Jay notice she's been staring for too long. She doesn't need to see this.

With a groan of frustration, Jay lets herself fall back. What a night. Her pants are half off, she's massively horny, but the people she wanted to get it on with have either moved on to someone else or are engrossed with each other. She can _feel_ Roy's pathetic whines sitting in the back of his throat as Kori fingers him and rolls his balls in the cup of her palm.

If Jay weren't so aroused, she'd be bored out of her mind. She knew it'd end up like this, with herself as the forgotten outsider and everyone else having fun without her. No big deal.

Then, as if her own inner defeatist monologue had roused him, Roy is suddenly tugging at her jeans again, rolling it off her knees. Kori is helping him.

_You didn't really think I forgot about you, did you?_

Jay shrugs. _You looked pretty busy to me._

_So did you._

Jay's stare is unamused, so Roy grins all the wider.

 _Do you want us to join them?_ Kori asks and nods towards the other edge of the bed, where both Donna and Garth are fucking Dick now.

Connor has traded places with Wally and is sliding the head of his thick cock past Dick's lips. It should all look absolutely filthy, yet even Garth's strong thrusts have an underlying element of care to them that softens the whole scene and gives it a more affectionate vibe than you'd ever find in adult movies.

 _Nah, I'm good right here,_ she thinks.

_I like hearing that._

Roy strokes the inside of her calf, her knee, right up to her thigh. A pleasant shiver runs through her. At least her legs stay nice and smooth longer than her face does.

Where Roy's hand is a calming presence on the top of her thigh, caressing it with his thumb, Kori's fingers are inquisitive and hook over the edge of Jay's soaked-through satin panties. Jay sucks in a breath as she peels the fabric away from the damp skin of her clit. It's pink and swollen and Kori, bless her, recognizes its dire need for attention. She kisses it just beneath the tip and flicks her tongue against it.

Roy swallows the whine before it can spill from Jay's lips. If she had her wits about her at all, she might have told Kori that her clit doesn't work for her quite the way it used to, but she doesn't have her wits about her and Roy keeps sidetracking her on top of it. His fingers edge ever closer to the juncture of her thighs, as if he were waiting for her to tell him to cut it out. 

She doesn't. She wants his fingers there. 

Placing her hand on top of his, she navigates them closer to the spot she _really_ enjoys. She groans into the kiss as his fingertips trace the rim of her preferred inguinal canal through the skin. The interplay of his touch combined with Kori's is creating a feedback loop that travels up and down her entire spine.

Her fingers curl against Roy's, encouraging him to crook them inside and when he does, her hips jerk up. Ordinarily, she might have liked some lube to smooth the ride, but fuck, who even has time for that now? Roy is fingering her and it feels so good. 

Everything is happening so fast. Kori sucks more of her clit into her soft, scorching mouth and Roy's fingers are moving faster and just a little deeper, and suddenly Jay is shuddering from head to toe. Pleasure is splintering through her, tingling all across her skin.

She doesn't know how long it lasts. All she knows is that she's drained once it's over. Content. Her whole body is buzzing and she can't remember the last time she's felt like this.

Distantly, she has the urge to thank Roy for the experience, but he's still engaged with Kori. Jay feels a little bad for being a pillow princess and not reciprocating right away, but at the same time she's glad not to be alone. She'd feel worse if Roy had to wait for her to come around again.

With a tired smile, she lets her head roll back and to the left, where it freezes on her face. Dick is lying next to her. He has both hands folded under his cheek and he's grinning at her stupidly.

 _Hi,_ he thinks.

 _Hi,_ she thinks back, tongue-tied all of a sudden. Or mind-tied or whatever.

 _You understand me._ His grin stretches wider. _I didn't know you could do that already._

_I'm a fast learner._

What is he doing, trying to hold small talk with her when she's still out of it from the best orgasm she's had in a while? She'd be nervous if she weren't so calm.

 _Can I tell you something?_ he asks.

_Depends on what it is._

_It's nothing bad, I promise._

_I'll be the judge of that._

_Okay._ He bites his lower lip, the stupid grin still splitting his face in half. _This is going to sound corny, but you look beautiful._

 _You're right, it_ does _sound corny,_ she thinks hastily, but she's too late to fight down the blush.

"I've been meaning to tell you that all night," Dick whispers, and it's strange to hear his actual voice.

"And you waited until I'm lying naked and fucked out in your bed before you did."

"To be fair, you're only half-naked and this is not entirely my bed." A quick bout of laughter makes his shoulders quiver. "Admittedly, it's not the best timing, but you _do_ look radiant right now."

He pulls one of his hands from under his cheek and reaches out as if to brush her hair out of her face. That shocks her almost as much as his words just now. He hesitates, right on the edge of touching, ready to pull back again if she doesn't want this.

She gives him no indication whatsoever, but she's pretty sure he knows he's allowed to try his luck. Either from experience or because he could read it on her mind.

"Um," he starts again, "I hope it's not weird or anything, but I'd really like to kiss you right now."

"Dude, it's totally weird," she says.

"Oh. Um." He bites his lip again, but this time his grin is gone. "Okay then, never mind. Pretend I didn't say anything."

"That wasn't a no," she mumbles, suddenly intent on avoiding his eyes. "Just, you know, for the record."

"Then let the record reflect that the defendant is still very much interested in kissing the prosecution, your honor."

"Idiot." Jay snorts in disbelieving laughter, but before she can feel embarrassed about that, Dick leans forward and captures her lips. 

If the world came crashing down when M'gann kissed her, it ceases to exist the moment Dick kisses her. Like there's nothing else but him, the bed they're lying on, and the air they breathe. And of the latter, there is not enough, because her breath is coming short every time Dick's tongue flicks against her bottom lip.

The way his tongue _curls_ against hers makes something in her belly dip like vertigo, but then he pins her securely onto her back and rolls on top of her, sliding his tongue even deeper into her mouth.

She can't help the surprised moan she breathes into the tiny space between them.

"I want to touch you," he murmurs, eyes hazy and dark.

"You're moving fast. It was only a kiss just now."

"What can I say? I can't get enough of you."

His fingers smooth over her arm, down her thighs, and then back up along her sides. The fabric of her T-shirt tickles against her skin. His touch makes her grow bold as well. First, she only rests her hands on his shoulders, but soon she's caressing his back, following the raised lines of his scars, and even going so far as to grope his ass.

Dick's hips buck against hers when she does that.

"I like it when you do that," he whispers with a grin.

"Oh yeah? What else do you like?"

"Why don't you find out?"

"How much time do we have?"

"However long you want to."

 _Forever,_ she wants to say but it's moronic and greedy, and she probably wouldn't even be able to wait that long.

 _Forever it is,_ Dick thinks at her with a stupid crinkle in his eyes.

_Stop reading my mind._

_I can't help it. It's loud, you know. I didn't know you liked me that much._

Jay stills. There's no way of hiding that, is there? _What of it?_

 _Nothing,_ he thinks and caresses her cheek with a reverence that makes her breath catch. _Just that I'm flattered. And that I really like you, too. I don't think I would have been brave enough to let you know that, before._

It's strange. She should feel exposed, with her mind laid bare in front of Dick, but it's not like that. She feels seen. Just that, in its simplest but also its most meaningful terms. There's no spotlight on her, no fingers pointed at her, no tongues wagging behind her back. There's just Dick, gazing down at her with adoring eyes and an eager grin, and it disarms Jay.

"I want you inside me," she blurts, because of course she would. She's just that easy. A guy tells her he likes and she's ready to spread her fucking legs for him.

But. In her defense: it's not any guy, and he didn't just say those words. Jay is in his mind and she knows that they are true. 

"I want that, too," he says, beaming so hard it almost blinds Jay. Then an expression of embarrassment flits across his face and he corrects himself: "I mean, I want to be inside you, too. Not 'I want you inside me, too.' Although, if that's something you want to do, I'd be more than up for it. I'd be up for anything, really, just as long as _you_ want it. And now I'm talking too much, aren't I?"

Jay nods, without a word, as if Dick's barrage of them had robbed her of her own. 

"Sorry. I'm nervous. Which I'm sure you couldn't tell. Hah."

You're _nervous? What am I supposed to say?_ Jay thinks.

"I don't know. But we can both be nervous. Not like I've staked a claim to it. And if I did, I'd be happy to share."

Jay flushes. She keeps forgetting about this telepathic link and how inconvenient it is when you just want to make sarcastic asides to yourself.

 _Good?_ Dick asks as he conjures up a bottle of lube from somewhere.

_Splendid._

Jay sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and gnaws on it as she watches Dick warm up a dollop of lube. She can't quite believe this is happening, but then again, most of this evening is quite unbelievable. And even if it turns out to be nothing more than a pleasant dream, at least she didn't spend her night twisting and turning from a nightmare that leaves her shattered in the morning.

 _I know it feels like a dream,_ Dick thinks, _but it's not._

_I hope you're right. I'm not confessing to you again._

_Aww, not even if it has the same outcome?_

_I won't know that._

_All right, then I'll take the first step, if you promise not to leave me hanging._

_It's a deal._

They seal it with a kiss, and Dick shifts on his knees, spreading Jay's thighs wider. He rubs his fingers between them, slicking up her cleft, and it feels so delicious.

Throughout it all, Dick is the epitome of patience, fully focused on Jay's needs and the pace she's comfortable with. Never once does he push too much or dally too long. He _does_ suck hickeys onto her stomach and her hips, which is not exactly something she needs, but let him have his fun marking her up. He deserves it.

He deserves so much more than she can give him.

"Shh," he shushes her. "You're all that I want, Jay. There's nothing anyone can give me beyond that."

"Didn't you want to stop being so corny?"

"I never said that."

It feels weird to banter with him when he's stretching her open. She can't do it. "Please just shut up and fuck me."

Dick smiles devilishly as he shakes his head and crooks his fingers, expertly dragging them across her prostate.

"Sorry, but that'll be a no," he says. "I'll shut up for you, but apart from that I regret to inform you that I won't be able to comply with your request."

Jay frowns at him. She's not alarmed – his desire for her swirls through him just as strongly as ever and he still very much intends to bed her, which is all she really needs to know – but she senses some horrible pun coming.

"You got me," he says and sucks another hickey between her thighs. Her skin is already black and blue down there. "I'm afraid I can only make love to you at this point."

God, will he ever stop making her feel so embarrassed?

"Well, you're pretty cute when you're flustered, so..."

"Oh, shut up already. You said you'd do it."

With a shrug, Dick mimes zipping up his mouth, locking it, and throwing away the key.

"Better."

 _You ready?_ Dick's voice echoes in her head. His eyes are shining with enthusiasm and desire.

 _More than._ She's been taking his fingers with ease for a while now and has been waiting for him to move on, but at the same time, she doesn't want to rush a single thing.

A wave of fondness washes through her as Dick slides out his fingers and cleans them on a handkerchief that he also conjured up out of nowhere, just like the bottle of lube, and the condom packet he's now opening with his teeth. They probably have a lot of that stuff hidden around here for quick and easy access.

Dick smiles at her as though he agrees, and rolls the condom over his erect cock. It's gorgeous and slender, and Jay berates herself for not having taken the time to apply her mouth all over Dick when she had the chance. Fucking pillow princess that she is.

 _There's still plenty of time,_ Dick thinks. _Gives you something to look forward to._

He kneels over her, rubbing his erection between her thighs and adding some more lube to it. His eyes are burning with his gaze as he waits for her go-ahead. When she gives it, the head of his cock pops inside her just like that.

Jay's mouth falls open. This is different than his fingers, but fuck, it's nice.

Dick rocks against her gently, leaving her ample time to adjust before sliding deeper, little by little. She doesn't notice how deep he's going, just that she loves feeling the hot pressure of him inside of her.

_Fuck, you feel so good, Jay._

Jay's mind is scrambled. She can only nod. Dick leans over her, pressing deeper, and sucks on her tongue that she hadn't noticed had been peeking out from her open mouth. Impossibly, more heat is pooling low in her gut. Sweat seems to be pouring from every pore, and her heart is thudding loudly in her ears, too loud to even hear her own thoughts anymore.

He flicks his tongue against hers in time with his shallow thrusts, until he deepens even those, pulling his hips back and rolling them forward again. Jay gasps. She never knew it could feel like this.

Dick slows down. _You mean you've never—?_

Flustered _yet_ again, Jay shakes her head. 

Dick's entire expression changes with the revelation, like he's taking it super serious. It's charming, but unnecessary.

 _It's not that big a deal,_ she thinks at him.

_It is to me._

_Congratulations, you're the first person I've bottomed for like this. Now move, before I come to regret it._

That comment seems to hit Dick right in his performance anxiety and somehow, he becomes even more attentive after that, if at all possible.

 _Hey,_ she thinks as he smothers her with another heartfelt kiss. _You don't have to try so hard. You can't ruin this for me, no matter what you do. I hate to say this, because your ego's bloated enough as it is, but this is already perfect._

All she's ever wanted was someone who would not make her self-conscious about herself. That in itself would be memorable. She never expected, or even dared to dream, that _Dick_ would be that someone. 

_Shit, Jay. You're making me all teary-eyed._

_Good, I like making big boys cry._

Dick laughs and kisses her again. _You really are tough as nails. It's what I like about you._

_Just that? Not my excellent sense of humor?_

_And your scathing wit, but I figured you wouldn't like it if I suggested I had an entire list._

Jay nearly swallows her tongue. What luck that she doesn't need it to talk right now. _You're right. I don't._

Dick continues making love to her the best way he knows how, which is with his entire being. Jay feels elevated just to be noticed by him and so, to be loved by him... it's something Jay can't even comprehend. It's way outside of what she knows. He edges her closer to release not so he can feel good about himself later, but simply because it makes Jay feel good.

It may not be as frantic and mind-blowing as the orgasm she experienced with Roy and Kori, but it scratches her on a deeper level. Just watching Dick come apart on top of her after he's been making her feel so fine has something infinitely satisfying, even though she hasn't really done much to contribute. Just snarked a bit here and there. Figures he'd get off on that.

Dick's shoulders shake against her.

_I'm so into you right now._

_Of course you are. You just came inside me. I could be a potted plant and you'd be into me._

_I've never met a potted plant with a mouth as bad as yours, though._

_You should talk to Ivy, I'm sure she can introduce you to one._

_If you're already planning to hook me up with one of Ivy's plants, let me stop you right there._

He rolls off of her and onto his side, tying off his condom. She's appalled for a moment when he tosses it into a corner without looking, but then it lands on the inside of a waste bin. With a quiet snicker, Dick settles against her, hooking his chin over her shoulder and tracing patterns onto her skin. There's still an orgy going on around them, but neither of them care about it. They're content to stay inside their own little bubble for now.

"Mind if I speak again?" he asks after a while.

Jay stirs. Dick's gentle caresses have lulled her to the edge of sleep.

"I want to ask you this, but I don't want to seem like I'm fishing for compliments. I'm not, but. Was it... you know, was it good? Was it what you'd hoped it would be?"

Jay draws back so she can fully stare at him as though he's lost his mind.

"You were in my head, you idiot," she says. "If you didn't notice it was good, I don't know what else to tell you."

"Okay." He ducks his head and grins sheepishly. "I was worried it may have been just my own impression and that you didn't actually feel the same."

"Nope, I think your assessment was pretty accurate."

"I'm glad." Dick folds her into his arms and kisses her neck. "Does that mean you'd be open to doing it again? With me, that is."

"Phew, I'm _still_ pretty open, all right."

"If that's your way of saying 'yes, I'd love to do it again with you, and I'd love to do it again _right now,'_ I'll need another five minutes."

"And if Dick doesn't satisfy you," a deep voice says, "you can always turn to the rest of us. We'd be more than happy to help you out."

It's Garth who's slid up beside Dick, fixing them both with hungry eyes. Their shade of purple is even prettier up close.

"Go right ahead," Dick says and waves his hand. "Make me look bad because I don't have your inhuman stamina."

"You're doing fine for a normal human," Donna says, curling over Garth's arm.

"Do you see what I have to put up with every time?" Dick asks Jay. "Roy and I are the only quote-unquote 'normal humans' around here, and we never hear the end of it. Even Hank and Dawn don't get ribbed this much, because they have superpowers."

"Can't handle being the best at what you do?" Jay asks and strokes Dick's hair soothingly.

"Not you, too."

"Look, I'm no superpowered individual either, but if I can get away with giving you and Roy shit, you can bet your ass I'll take it."

Dick groans.

"I can see he already regrets asking if we'd let you join," Garth says.

"Wait. That was _your_ idea? I thought it was Roy's."

"Did I say too much?"

"It's fine, Garth," Dick says and kisses him. Then he turns back to Jay and scratches his head. "Um, yeah. I asked Roy if he could make it look like it was his idea."

"You planned all this?"

"Well, not exactly. I just thought you'd join us for a few get-togethers until you feel comfortable around us, and in the meantime I could gather enough courage to approach you."

"Didn't seem like you needed much."

"You know me: I leap before I look."

"That's bullshit, but anyway, I'm glad you did."

Dick beams. "So am I."

The night is indeed still young and Dick's teammates equipped with inhuman stamina. Jay has the privilege of experiencing it firsthand. Connor carries her into the bathroom later and Kori helps her brush her teeth because she's been thoroughly destroyed. At the very least, she's not the only one. Dick is equally as boneless by the time they fall asleep together in a nest of warm bodies.

The next morning comes with a massive dopamine hangover and the frightening absence of the others in her head. At first, she thinks it might all have been a strange dream, but her body tells her a different story. It looks and feels mangled, although that can have any number of different reasons. What's more telling is that when she pads into the kitchen, Dick is there, hunched over a bowl of cereal.

He perks up visibly the moment he sees her. He never did that before. (Not that she cared to notice.)

He slides off his stool and walks over to her, a little stiffer than usual. It's obvious he's trying not to hurry. His arms slide around her as if he's had years of practice hugging her, or as if he's at least going to pretend he had. He tips up his head expectantly.

"This is me, taking the first step," he says. "Are you gonna leave me hanging?"

Jay relaxes like she's never before relaxed in her life. Her shoulders drop at least an inch in relief.

"You win. It wasn't a weird-ass dream."

Though in truth, they both win.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from a quote by Federico Fellini: "All art is autobiographical. The pearl is the oyster's autobiography."


End file.
